View Full Version : My father
12th April 2008, 09:26 PM
I've got the best dad, he's been there for me more than anyone in my life. I had a funny feeling that something back home wasn't right so I gave the old bastard a call. We've had funny things like that all my life. When I got hurt really bad skiing he thought I would get hurt that day and I did get hurt rather badly. When I dislocated my elbow we had a conversation about dislocated elbows hours before I was in the hospital.....
Now it's my turn to worry about him. I gave him a call tonight and this week he's been pissing blood. He tells me it's kidney stones or some crap like that or ultra awesome cancer...... The bastard has the nerve to tell me that it's not a big deal, find some nodes and just cut them out.
I've been around the medical field all my life and know it's not that simple by any stretch of the imagination. I love the old man to bits and now I don't know what to do. He said not to worry and just keep on doing what I'm doing here as things are going pretty good and he doesn't want me to screw it up.
The thing is he would never ask me to come home not ever. He is the reason I'm not a street person and still addicted to crystal meth. He's been there for me more than any other single person in my life and now I'm afraid I will not be there when he's in need........... I love my dad, I don't know what to do.
Sorry to dump this on all you but as a an expat I don't know many people and don't really have anyone to talk to.
I'm scared and feel really down...........
12th April 2008, 09:30 PM
In that case.. personally I think it would be in your interest to return and share your love in person, I mean for someone like your father, it could mean the difference of him pulling through or slipping away.
But I know nothing of the logistics involved..
12th April 2008, 09:40 PM
I suppose I'll have to wait and see, if it's cancer I'm on a plane......
Now I need to buy a new house phone.... I kinda smashed it after we hung up.
12th April 2008, 09:58 PM
I dont know about the logistics involved either, but to me it doesn't sound like theres any choice at all. It sounds to me like you're on the plane already, but you just need your own permission to go. If you need to do it, just do it. At the very least you can see your dad and spend some time back home, and if nothing comes of it, then fine. If it's something more serious, then every moment together might be important. Get on the plane son. Hope everything's ok.
12th April 2008, 09:59 PM
Anyone else you can call to confirm whether it is a big deal or not?
12th April 2008, 10:00 PM
Hey Smokie - real sorry to hear it.
I'll give you my 2c if you're asking. Like you said, wait for a confirmation of some sort, although he doesn't sound like the kinda guy to tell you anything that would get you worried. Can you confirm the situation with another relative, close friend or maybe even his doctor? For the cost of a phone call, you might get the truth of the situation.
12th April 2008, 11:53 PM
Damn, sorry to hear that man. I cant say ive experienced sush a thing in my family, so i cant imagine what you are going thru. If it was me (even tho my dad and i arnt that close (no probs...just different interests) i would rather not miss out, than take the risk...cause 1 of the options is forever....if it is serious then you dont want him going.....having said that, if it is kidney stones....to my knowledge it isnt really a serious thing is it? (painfull and unpleasant, but far from life threatening). I cant imagine if your that close, he would lie to you man? worry or not worry....its not the sort of situation he is going to lie about if it IS reallly deadly serious i wouldn't think.
But i agree...call someone else to double check, and if you can call his doctor, ask simply, should i come home just in case (due to personal confidentiallity) i am sure the doc will give ya a fair idea.
13th April 2008, 12:03 AM
Hey smoke damn bad news sucks... Hey don't let yourself stress cause it's no good but yeah find out as much as you can and make your decision after that. Don't panic.. Chin up mate :)
13th April 2008, 12:17 AM
I wish your dad all the very best smokey, damn sorry to hear that news.
There's nothing worse than a loved one being in trouble.
As far as I know kidney stones aren't a major issue but still.........
If it were me, I'd be calling him all the time to really let him know that your thinking of him.
If you can call someone else like your mum or something to confirm the seriousness of it, you should do that to.
And obviously, if you find out it is serious, get your butt straight over there.
Don't stress mate, it doesn't help.
Well wishes from me and the bigD admin team. ;)
13th April 2008, 12:22 AM
Smoke - sorry to hear mate! There's loads of people here who would bloody love to catch up with you over a beer given the chance.
When you find out more don't let yourself down, do what's important, the other stuff will sort itself out.
13th April 2008, 12:22 AM
Thanks guys, my eyes got all misty and ****.
I think I'll call him every day, him and my mom are seperated and live in opposite sides of the country. He doesn't tell anyone but me, I guess it's a man thing or something?
If it's just kidney stones yay! If not, looks like I'll be having 250 ping.
13th April 2008, 12:53 AM
My Grandfather died in October 06, we knew he was sick and was not going to be around for much longer but I pretended that he would keep on going like he normally did (he was a tough bugger).
One morning I got a call from my sister who was crying on the other end. She told me Grandad was in a really bad way and would probably pass soon. It was 4am and I was extremely tired, I felt the need to get up and drive back to my parents place (2 hours away) but falling asleep at the wheel wasn't going to help the situation.
So I told myself I would sleep for another 2 hours and take off.
Grandad died an hour later, and I will never forgive myself for not getting off my f**king lazy arse to be with my family and at least try to see him one last time.
If your Dad has kidney stones, ouch, but thank God. If it's something more insidious like cancer, then go be with him when you feel you should be there. If he is the kind of man I think he is, he will say don't worry, just stay home; when really he would love for you to be there with him. My Dad is like that.
13th April 2008, 01:50 AM
So has he actually gone to get himself checked out by a doctor?
If he hasn't you really need to make sure he does, even if it is something like a kidney stone it can be treated much better by professionals than if you just deal with it. And depending on the size and composition of the stone sometimes it is necessary to have an operation to get them removed.
If it is something else... Well the earlier you discover it the better the chance of getting through it in one piece.
A doctor will easily be able to tell the difference between kidney stones and something more serious.
If he has gone and done the doctor thing and he says it is ok then I suppose maybe you should trust him. I take it he lives in Canada? No point going all the way over there if it really is nothing.
13th April 2008, 02:09 AM
The doctor thing is in the works, we're just waiting on results.
Ballistic, you're right. He will not ask me to be there, I just have to take to go there on my own free will.
13th April 2008, 11:43 AM
Smokey M8, sorry to hear that, it sucks that we get sick, but, it does happen to everyone.
Most important is to not make yourself sick with worry (stress)
Formulate a plan & follow it.. Make a decision & stick with it. Go with your gut, because a majority of the time it will be the right choice. Action is better than reaction.
Your a smart guy Smokey... have faith in yourself... Here is some info I found from Shaun147 on the answers.yahoo.com website. Seems to know what he is talking about... Sounds like there is a chance of this symptom being serious, but, higher probability of being something other than cancer..
Take care of yourself buddy!
"Blood in urine is known as Hematuria and is something that should ALWAYS be looked at by your doctor / Hematuria department at your local hospital.
Hematuria has many different causes.
Blood in the urine can come from any condition that results in infection, inflammation, or injury to the urinary system.
Typically, microscopic hematuria indicates damage to the upper urinary tract (kidneys), while visible blood indicates damage to the lower tract (ureters, bladder, or urethra). But this is not always the case.
The most common causes in people younger than 40 years of age are kidney stones or urinary tract infections.
These may also cause hematuria in older people, but cancers of the kidney, bladder, and prostate become a more common concern in people older than 40 years of age.
Several conditions causing hematuria may exist at the same time.
Some causes of hematuria are serious, others are not. Your doctor will perform tests to help tell the difference.
The well-known causes of blood in the urine include the following:
Infections of the urinary tract or genitals
Blockage of the urinary tract, usually the urethra - by a stone, a tumor, a narrowing of the opening (stricture), or a compression from surrounding structures
Cancer of the kidney, bladder, or prostate
Blood clotting disorders
Injury to the upper or lower urinary tract, as in a car accident or a bad fall
Medications - Antibiotics [for example, rifampin (Rifadin)], analgesics such as aspirin, anticoagulants [blood thinners such as warfarin, (Coumadin)], phenytoin (Dilantin), quinine (Quinerva, Quinite, QM-260)
Benign (noncancerous) enlargement of the prostate - known as benign prostatic hypertrophy (BPH), a common condition in older men
Chronic diseases such as diabetes, hypertension, and sickle cell anemia
Inflammation of the kidney - usually of unknown cause
Strenuous exercise, especially running - results from repeated jarring of the bladder
Sometimes no cause is found for blood in the urine.
If serious conditions such as cancer, kidney disease, and other chronic diseases that cause kidney damage or bleeding are ruled out, the cause is usually not serious.
The hematuria will probably go away by itself or continue as a chronic condition without doing harm. Any changes should immediately trigger a return visit and evaluation by your doctor.
Urine can be colored pink, red, or brown for reasons that have nothing to do with bleeding in the urinary tract:
Foods - beets, berries, rhubarb in large amounts
Medications - Certain laxatives and pain medications
Menstrual blood (think you can eliminate this one)
Liver diseases - also can be very serious
As with all medical conditions such as this, it is ALWAYS better to seek professional advice as soon as possible."
13th April 2008, 12:53 PM
Thanks for the info, I'm calling the old bugger now and will every day until I know.
I'll keep you posted.
13th April 2008, 03:45 PM
sounds like you dont need to go for him but you need to go for your self
if that makes sense
it may put your life on hold for a month but i beleave it would be worth it
13th April 2008, 06:13 PM
and 1rankman is paying for the plane ticket
13th April 2008, 06:17 PM
At least I got to see him a month back when I went for a visit.
13th April 2008, 06:18 PM
your asking the poor student for money
13th April 2008, 06:31 PM
Best wishes to you and your family. Hopefully it isn't cancer, no one deserves to go through that sort of thing. :(
14th April 2008, 12:45 PM
sorry to hear man , ive pissed blood before after the cops enthusiasticly massaged my kidneys , took a week to go away , hope your old mans ok
14th April 2008, 07:05 PM
Hey - wait for the test results they should take no more than a week if they are taking a biopsy or 2-3 days if they do a scan. If it comes back the big c then dude get on the plane and go see him.
The best thing if you have cancer is to have family and friends around.
If you need to talk to someone with the medical knowledge and has been through it call the cancer council on 13 1120 - they talk to people with cancer and their families.
15th April 2008, 05:34 AM
shortie it wont be cancer , smokie mate , your old man will be sweet , i just spoke to god , he told me hell be ok but hes pretty sure im f----d
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